How to Make Mikayla's Awesome Balsamic Chicken Dinner

The online recipe you are attempting to follow calls for a cup of chicken stock. England doesn’t have ready-made chicken stock. The back of the cubed-stock package says 400ml or ¾ pint boiling water per cube. You don’t know what 400ml looks like, but you do know what a pint of stout looks like. However, you remember that a UK pint is 4oz larger than a US pint. You also have no idea what 4oz of water looks like, and you don’t have any liquid (or dry) measuring cups, because while you have looked everywhere, UK stores don’t seem to carry them. Even if they did, this would not matter, because UK Imperial cup measurements are not the same size as US cup measurements. You decide that two coffee mugs stacked on top of each other looks very roughly like an oversized pint glass. Put 1¾ mugs of water into a pot to boil. Add chicken stock cube. Reduce a lot until it starts tasting like what you imagine chicken stock should taste like, having never actually tasted plain chicken stock, but having seen your mother pour it into cooking pots before.

The recipe you are following assumes that you have already roasted a whole chicken (you will be making this sauce to drizzle over it), and tells you to put the fat drippings into a saucepan. You have uncooked chicken breasts. You decide that a moderate drizzle of olive oil should suffice, especially since you don’t really have much else in the way of possible substitutes.

The recipe calls for two minced garlic cloves. Figuring that garlic cloves, like everything else in Europe, are probably smaller than they are in the States, you mince three cloves. The recipe also calls for one minced shallot. You have ½ an onion. After taking your knife to it such that the pieces are halfway between chopped and garlic-sized-minced, you decide that ¼ of an onion is plenty, and really mincing it would be overkill, so you stop there. Add garlic and onion to oiled pan, then add a dash of nearly-reduced chicken broth for added moisture.

The recipe also wants you to add two teaspoons of freshly chopped thyme. You add 1½ teaspoons of dried thyme. You are aware that dried has less flavor than fresh, but 1½ looks good enough.

When the onions start to get soft, you decide that this is as good a time as any to add the chicken—two breasts, whole. You also add most of the chicken stock and the mustard. The recipe calls for two teaspoons of Dijon. You have Colman’s, but close enough.

According to the recipe, you are supposed to wait for this mixture to reduce to ¾ cup and then whisk in two tablespoons of unsalted butter and two teaspoons of sherry vinegar. Not having a whisk, and no longer preparing a sauce to pour over chicken like the recipe intends, you decide to add them now. The butter is fine and dandy, and probably the only part of this recipe you have actually followed. You like vinegar a lot, but only have balsamic. Add three tablespoons.

Reduce. Reduce, reduce, reduce. You go from having chicken stock soup to having a sticky sauce. While reducing, flip the chicken over, taste the sauce occasionally, and add in ½-1 teaspoon of more thyme and an additional 2-2½ teaspoons of mustard (you are eyeballing, so you're not entirely sure how much you add). Forget the pepper you were supposed to add entirely.

As your chicken is nearing done, and the sauce is very reduced, decide that just chicken isn’t going to cut it for dinner, and throw in a bag of raw carrots, cauliflower, and broccoli. Getting impatient with the cook time on the veggies, but not having a lid for your saucepan, you cover the majority of the veggies with the lid from your chicken stock pot. Leave the chicken outside of this mini-steamer, since it’s already cooked enough.

When the veggies are sufficiently steamed, but not limp, put the chicken and veggies on a plate and drip the remaining sticky sauce over the top. Serves two, so put half in the fridge for tomorrow. While eating, congratulate yourself on your super awesomeness. When you see your flatmate come into the kitchen and start heating up chicken nuggets, gloat inwardly. Wash down with a cold mug of milk (you don’t own drinking glasses).

To see the recipe this stemmed from, click here.